Q. Lee, where is your contact info?? I wanted to send a big thanks to the D for having me introduce in san francisco on halloween. I had a great time. I loved meeting Jack, he was endearingly strange and suspisciously nice. Didnt get to meet Kyle though- another day perhaps....next time you fellows are in SF stop by and have dinner with me...I make a mean pot roast. Jennifer.
A. ok

Q. When the two kings gain power will the first decree really be to legalize marijuana, or are you guys going to puss out? I'm kind of counting on you guys here so let me know. A. legalization is a no brainer. it could save the planet.

Q. D rocks!!! I am in a kick-ass pseudo-punk band called The Toe. We hereby offer our rock services to support Tenacious D live. How do I contact their management or J and K themselves?
A. gas company in culver city ca

Q. Hey D boys! I read somewhere on this site that you had fans open for you before performances and I thought that I have a talent you might want to consider as an opening act. I can burp words! Oh yeah and i'm a girl. Tell me that doesn't sound interesting. Anyway what do ya say should I pack my bags and start touring with you guys???
A. no

Q. Jables, in the movie "Airborne", why did you turn down the grape kool-aid from wyley's mom? It must have been in the script or something, but you could have been nice and taken it anyway
A. i was young. i didn't question my elders. i followed orders

Q. Just curious... And, I don't mean to steal an Inside The Actor's Studio question here, but... What are everyone here's fave curse words?
A. cocksucker

Q. Do you think Kyle gets upset if people besides Jack call him Rage Kage or KG? I'm sure Laura or Tracy don't call him Kage or Rage, maybe KG, but I doubt it. But, do you think it gets on his nerves, or does he care?
A. he used to hate it when i called him kage but now i think he likes it. i don't know what his girlfriend calls him snugglepuss or some shit like that. i don't think his mom calls him kage

Q. Posted by KeeperofJericho: will JB have sex with me?
A. probably not

Q. So I am goin to this music school in the fall in Tempe Arizona rite..., well it requires me to do two different internships, with a band a producer a lable etc etc, well I was wondering if you have any opportunities of the sort, the internship is suppose to give me a real look into the music industry, if you have any internships available it would be a big help to me, so if anything of the sort ever happens an email would be great.
A. i'm not into assistants. i don't trust anyone. especialy peeps looking to break into show biz

Q. are you guys devil worshippers
A. no. as far as i know he doesn't exsist. but he is my favorite fictional super villian. he has super powers

Q. I was reading my copy of Battle Pope's Christmas Pope-Tacular, and right there on page 44 was a drawing of Tenacious D playing pool in the background of the first panel (with Satan looming over them)! So, do you guys know the folks at Battle Pope, or are they just fans of yours?
A. i don't know those dudes

Q. Have you ever considered collaborating with Jack White and Meg White from The White Stripes, who kickass but of course not to such hellish proportions as the D?
A. i don't know those dudes. are they rad?

Q. Jack. Kyle. Guys. Where do I send your christmas cards?
A. my people celebrate chanukah. and i don't like cards anyway

Q. Hey dude...what's YOUR favorite pos-ish?
A. i like to mix it up. nothing too atheletic. you know...mission,doggy,ridem' cowboy

Q. I recently acquired a produced cut of "Jesus Ranch" complete with drums. How come it's not on the CD? Tell me why, tell me sweet little why...
A. it just didn't cut the mustard

Q. What are The D's religious beliefs? I mean, we all know that The D is God, so we can just move that aside, but what do Kage and Jables have to say on the sub'? I seem to notice a recurring Dianetics theme in those rocket sauce and satan fueled jean creamers they call songs. Is that JB's thing? Is the "D" stand for Tenacious Dianetics? Did Rage Kage and Hollywood Jack attend the premier of Battlefield Earth?
A.no, but we infiltrated the scientology celebritty center (a fact gathering research mission) in the hopes of doing a loosely based cult episode. but we got cold feet. those dudes are all about money and brainwashing. i can't speak for rage but i believe that god is an unfathomable force of love and cosmic sadness

Q. If you guys ever got bored with your usual routine during a tour, would you ever suddenly do a complete 180 (like, for instance do a Cirque de Soleil-esque, completely choreographed show or an entire show full of Meatloaf covers?)
A. that sounds dangerous. i don't think we're insured for that type of jackassery

Q. Got a question for the D. My girlfriend and I recently moved into a duplex just outside city limits here in Carbondale, Illinois. We thought "Nice place, sweet!" We move in and a few weeks later, it rains for the first time. It was a cool summer's evening, a fine mist in the air, and all of a sudden, like a fucking kick to the face - this horrible stench rolls up and pinches my brain. So I go over and ask the neighbor (who had never heard of the D until now) what was up with the putrid smell and he tells me that about 15 feet past the treeline in the back there's an illegal septic pond that every place in the neighborhood flows into. So I've got a shit pond in the back yard!! DOES ANYONE FUCKING GET IT, MAN!? A SHIT POND! So my question for you, not that I'm a prude or anything, but how would you go about draining a shit pond? Dig it dry? "Paint the white picket fence"? Kind of at a loss here.
A. i just hope you are renting

Q. What do you guys think about the 80's college radio band Husker Du?
A. genius

Q. Are you ever going to change up that lyric in "The History of Tenacious D" to reflect your growing success? In other words, are you still going to sing, "We know it's a showcase but we don't care..." when you're rocking 50,000 fans' faces' asses at Dodger Stadium?
A. we know you're all robots

Q. When is Todd McFarlane going to make ass-blastin' action figures of the D? Or is that a stupid question being that the D is so awesome that his hands would be paralyzed from even thinking about trying?
A. mcfarlain? try picasso

Q. Who was the red head who played "Fly" in the JESUS RANCH episode of the HBO specials? She looks familiar.
A. the lovely and mysterious brooke or are you speaking of evie?

Q. Are any of these questions really "frequently asked"?
A. no

Q. Why don't you guys cut a track with Nate Dogg? He lives around ya'll somewhere, 213 where ever the fuck that is.
A. nate dogg? is that a combo of nashh kato and snoop?

Q. My fiancé and I are gettin' hitched next fall up in the SF Bay area. Do you think that The D would marry us??
A. certainly........but first we clock some trailer tim with the bride to be

Q. So when is the Fuckin D gonna make it's way to the Valley of Zion to overthrow the regime and blow everyone's asses out???????? I sure would like to know. As a matter of fact, I could set up a gig for the D in Salt Lake. A good gig fellows. One that actually pays. I see there are alot of off-dates on the tour, and i fuckin' kid you NOT there will be thousands of screaming fans here waiting, kicking in your fuckin hotel room door.
A. kicking in my hotel room door? i'm on my way!

Q. I am a DJ.I want and need an airplay version of everything D. Is there going to be an airplay / radio / edit version of anything? What about vinyl?
A. the wonderboy track is clean. feel free to bleep out any expletives of the other songs...san fran came up with a creative edit of fuck her gently

Q. Jack: What would happen if the entire audience mastered the Tenacious D chant?
A. a hole would be ripped in the space time continuum

Q. What do you think of this "Girls Guitar Club Band" thing? Are these chicks just some backstage betties that stole kyle and jack's guitars while they were sleeping or what? Do KG and JB condone these two or do they consider them poseurs who should be treated like ripoff hoochies?
A. i think they're hot

Q. Is there a Tenacious D movie in the works? I heard Ben Stiller was producing.
A. indeed....in theaters august 2005

Q. could dave grohl beat the sassafrassquatch in an arm wrestling contest? see, sass has size, but grohl has the pumped up arms from the drumming and the jello pudding..
A. sass wins hands down

Q. Can I, Stef Chlapaty, be the d's number 2 fan behind lee!?!?!?!
A. well stef... there is an audition process

Q. Hey Lee, Kage,and JB - I have been listening to, and getting my socks rocked off by, you guys for a while now, and I was just wondering if you are Frank Zappa fans. He had a scataloscatologicalof humor, and is one of my personal heroes.
A. indeed, we are considering doing a cover of dynamo hum...i also love his collaborations with captain beefheart

Q. So I think I have the question that everyone wants the answer to.... Tenacious D, Behind The Music???? When will we get to see it????
A. we are behind the music right now......giving it a back door hot beef injection

Q. Does the D read this stuff? If so do they reply? I'll just talk anyway. My band, MTA (MACARENA'S THE ANSWER) has been doing a electric cover of "Explosivo" (with drums) for over a year now and then we heard Anthrax did a cover. Would you guys be interested in hearing my band and our version? I think we covered it before the almighty Anthrax. Just wondering. Late sauce.
A. yes, send it to gas (our manager in culver city)

Q. There's a great band named Bargain Music who use a lotta lines from Exultant Joy on their song Cain. Are you guys aware of bands covering or sampling the D and what do you think of it?
A. tis the highest form of flattery......and lameness

Q. I would sell my soul to the D, if they would consider recording the *complete* Jesus Christ Superstar. I would sell my Mother's soul if the would come to Seattle to perform it live. Any chance of anything like that happening?
A. no, but we will be in seattle soon

Q. D, soon you guys are gonna be full blown celebrities, with the new CD, promo spots, etc. I'm not sure how much I'm gonna like that. There is something wrong with the idea of having a Tenacious D video on MTV. now I'm no homosexual, but your music is special to me. and I don't want some of these red faced frat/navy/aspiring firemen types to fuck it all up, and make the D out to be some kinda act. and by doing so, besmerch the pure-of-heart D fans like myself. thoughts?
A. the d is many things to many people, we must all live in harmony

Q. I remember seeing a young, thin Jack Black on an episode of Northern Exposure. You took Maggie O'Connel(Janine Turner) to the Prom. What I want to know is did you get a little of that action on the side?
A. yes i was on northern exposiey, my hairdoo was tremendous. i was unable to establish a rainbow connection with the lovely miss turner.

Q. What's the best part about the movie Airborne? The acting or the stunts?
A. the blunts

Q. Which fast food resturant does Tenacious D prefer?
A. fatburger

Q. What is your favorite restaurant?
A. chandara...this thai restaurant in LA....go there and see what i mean

Q. What exactly does one eat to become so kickass? It must be a strictly vegetarian diet, as that makes one deuce at least four times daily.
A. deuce? um....no vegetarians in camp d. strictly meat eaters. but this deuce intrigues me.

Q. To JB: My mom works with your aunt at an old folks home here in the Twin Cities. Will that get me anywhere?
A. my aunt is pretty hot, but hands off dude, she's married with children

Q. Did your juice mingle with Britney's sauce at the VMAs?
A. i was unable to organize a genital touching ceremony with britney

Q. How do you deal with all the backstage bettys under your spell? Do you take them all back to the room? Is there just one special one each time? Or do you feel that they distract you from honing your craft and ignore them all together? And finally, do you ever send any Lee's way, you know, sort of as a token of appreciation?
A. there has only been one legit backstage betty, and yes it was funneled in lee's direction...lucky bastard. kage and i are spoken for

Q. Just heard some tasty sound bites from the album. Let's just say it smokes ass, but I heard some drumming (not sasquatch). I thought you guys just weren't comfortable being a power trio?
A. well, that changed when Dr. G came to town!

Q. Kage and Jabels - Which tasty songs will you be making vids for? When will they be released for our eyes?
A. yes, you can see fuck her gently on tenaciousd.com, and wonderboy will be on MTV soon

Q. JB, I heard a rumor that Buckethead will be filling in for KG for parts of the upcoming tour, and that he might replace KG altogether. There is some speculation that KG is actually Buckethead's secret identity (his mild-mannered alter ego, so to speak). What's the story? And does Buckethead kick enough ass to be part of the D?
A. buckethead is always welcome

Q. Is the list of tour dates and locations posted on the site a complete list or will there be more in the near future? Please say there will.
A. there will, this is only the first of many legs

Q. Did you guys know that if you add a tour date in Vegas that you will get hookers and blow for free (ALSO did ya know you have had a winning song on a nightly competition hosted the rock station here X107.5)? You will be well loved for a trip to Vegas!
A. we opened for beck in vegas, we will be back, no blow required

Q. I am a fan from the Great White North otherwise known as Canada and I have a question for you. According to IMDB it says that JB was born in Edmonton Alberta. Is this true and if so does he ever make his way back up to his true north strong and free home? Possibly as a part of the tour?
A. i'm from hermosa beach california, but i love canada. we will invade your land when the time is right

Q. Let's pretend for a moment that I'm your girlfriend...what's my pet name? Do I get to spank you?
A. We'll have to decide your pet name in private. And yes, of course you can spank me- how else would I get an erection?

Q. What's the D's opinion of the whole MP3 controversy, and of what's been done to Napster? Also, which of the still operating Napster-like services do Kyle and Jack prefer now that Napster's gone?
A. Um, I don't really keep up with any of that stuff.

Q. Does The D ever plan on putting out a video or DVD of live performances?
A. Yes.

Q. I want to know if you's ever consider coming by our BBQ to kick a tasty groove. Free burgers, brats etc are in your future if you do, and all the refreshing beverage you could drink. Let me know. You rock OUR socks off!
A. When is it? I"M SO THERE!

Q. I have been focusing on my craft (music) for some time now, and I am wondering how I go about getting The D to check on my progress so I can know if I should continue, or stop?
A. Good question. Well, um......try to achieve a high level of fame- we tend to only pay attention to celebrities.

Q. Dear D, When people go "Woooo!" thoughout your shows, does it annoy you?
A. Um, not really. It seems to be a primitive expression of approval and possible album sales.

Q. how do the guys in the band feel about the selling of a bootlegged version of their shows? also, how do they feel about it when they are selling them right here through tenaciousd.com?
A. We can't sanction profiteering from any artist's life blood. Sharing is encouraged.

Q. Is Lee getting paid for God's sake?? I mean... he IS tenacious D fan numero uno. I saw him setting up your mics and tuning your guitars for your big stadium show. Not to mention he's done an incredible job redesigning this web site... it was LAA-HHAAMEE before he applied his vision. Webmasters command a pretty penny out there in the real world. I just hope your secret weapon is properly compensated for his talents... I'd hate to see him fall into the wrong hands. You know, like Journey.
A. Lee is well taken care of, but, we try not to "overpay" him, that way, he'll be more of our bitch.

Q. Who was on your lunchbox?
A. I have the Bush family lunchbox. And on the inside lide I have the twins Bush. I like to put my pbj in there.

Q. What's your favorite beer?
A. Never drink beer. It's bad for you.

Q. When is the D coming back to Michigan!!!!
A. We love to play Michigan- Go Lions!

Q. Will the D play the south? I always thought of the fans as D-sciples
A. Yes, even though the North kicked your ass butt good, it's time for the Rock Reconstruction Era!

Q. When are you coming to Nashville?
A. Where's that?

Q. Tedious question time holmes : "Exploding brains from Alzon to Zanzibar... to the shores of ye olde rustic....?" Is it China (pronounced chin-uh) or Chinook, the region in the pac.northwest? (i only ask cuz HBO closed captioning seems to think it's China)
A. Chinook!

Q. Who is Poops McGee?
A. The depth of this mystery is infinite. If anyone were to actually discover the true identity of PG the universe might implode and explode simultaneously.

Q. Did Tenacious D have a hand in developing the synthetic fat substitute Olestra? The reason I ask is because I just consumed a bag of Ruffles WOW chips and had my ass blown out.
A. No- The D cannot condone anal leakage linked to Olestra.

Q. How did you hook up with Page for the new album? You down with phish?
A. I hadn't really heard that much Phish, but I like their stony groove thang. And it seemed like they smoked alot of pot AND they were in to US, so.....

Q. I hear that you have some guests playing on the new album. Will any of the guests be joining the D on stage or was it strictly a studio thing. (Guests meaning Page, Dave, Warren and Steve)
A. Maybe. As long as it doesn't cut into the profit margin.

Q. Can you give Dave Grohl my phone number?
A. Oh God No.

Q. How, in the name of Jesus HMS Christ all-fucking-mighty is the editor of a British Heavy Metal Magazine going to get a fucken interview with The D when they're all living it high on the motherfucking hog in L-Fuckin'-A and shit?
A. A: Contact our publicist, I guess.

Q. To Jables: Would you like to mingle our rocketsauce all over Kage? For the sake of creativo?
A. no

Q. To JB: If your mom's your mananger did she really snarf your weed?
A. my mom is my accountant and she doesn't smoke weed

Q. How did you meet one another? At the Actor's Gang?
A. yes

Q. Is there a Tenacious D logo? And if not, can it be a nun, on fire, whacking a large walnut with a baseball bat? I hope it can, 'cause that's the tattoo I got on my chest in anticipation of it being the official logo of the D.
A. That doesn't sound right, but we admire your enthusiasm.

Q. How much does it kick ass to be you?
A. feels prettty good

Q. How come you guys are so kickass?
A. it just poops out our butts that way

Q. For JB: How does it feel being a comedic genius?
A. what's so funny?

Q. Where do you get your inspirado?
A. from deep within the mind of the super freak

Q. Was that John C. Reilly as Sass?
A. yes

Q. How come no one mentions Jack Black getting his arm blown off in the Jackal?
A. because that movie was shitty

Q. Will Jables and Kage be in my movie?
A. maybe

Q. Dude, would you guys be able to narrate my movie with song possible some dance and talking to the characters a couple times? Would you be willing to smack me over the head with your guitar? Would you like to help with the script? Do you have mookie stains? is that enough questions?
A. maybe kage will

Q. How did you guys hook up with the foo fighters?
A. grohl was down with our shit

Q. Where can we get Tenacious D guitar tabs?
A. nowhere for now

Q. To Jables: What the hell is the song Shells about?
A. soft feelings(sensativo)

Q. When is the CD coming out?
A. sept 25th

Q. What will the album be called?
A. grammy time!

Q. Specifically, what songs will be on the album?
A. sorry...no specifics

Q. How do we get the original HBO episodes?
A. ebay

Q. I heard on fugitivealien.com that all the HBO episodes will be released on DVD this May from Rhino. Is that true?
A. I think so

Q. Where can I see the D on TV?
A. nowhere for now

Q. What do you think of the new Tool CD?
A. i think it's pretty rad

Q. What's in your CD player right now?
A. chicago greatest hits
    radiohead's new one
    cold play
    bandway
    fuckemos

Q. Who do you guys consider to be the second greatest band on Earth?
A. I'm gonna say if beethoven and bach hooked up with mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to the d

Q. Does the D allow audience taping?
A. i don't know

Q. In two day's I'll be driving from Atlanta to Ziggy's in N.C. to see Flash Wonderboy and Young Nastyman performing live...do you ever plan on playing Atlanta? (huge fan base here...ATL rocks)
A. perhaps

Q. Big TD fan here in Corpus Christi, Texas. Any whispers about some concert dates here in Texas? Hope to see the D before they get too huge!
A. we will play austin some time before november

Q. The Grateful Dead had the Deadheads, Jimmy Buffett fans has his Parrotheads, hell even Marilyn Manson has the Spooky Kids. So don't you think that the fans of the Greatest Band On Earth deserve their own title?
A. children of the corn

Q. When will Tenacious D go on tour?
A. august

Q. To JB - How are you?
A. good